Tending the Fire: The Many Versions of You
A client and I were recently talking about nesting dolls and how the imagery of dolls that build upon one another can be a powerful way to look at the many versions of ourselves.
For example, there's me now, and me five years ago. The me before that life-changing event and the me after. The me from that phase in high school and little me from before that. Some versions of ourselves might feel close and supportive while others may feel unrecognizable or distant– either way they’re still within us. In fact, it’s these many versions of ourselves that provide the framework for our growth.
With each version of ourselves we learn, shift, and expand, growing a little (or a lot) along the way. As we move through the world, we bring with us earlier versions of ourselves, including a wealth of learnings and wisdom, that have our back.
Let’s bust out the arts and craft supplies and explore this more, shall we?
What are five versions of yourself that come to mind when you reflect on your life so far? Think about different interests, milestones, life events, age groups, etc.
Print this picture of the nesting dolls or perhaps draw your own:
Now select one doll for each of these five versions of you. My brain thinks of these in linear chronological order going from smallest to biggest, but they don’t have to be ordered that way necessarily– you do you. Once selected, the invitation here is to color and adorn each of these in a way that represents the corresponding version of you.
To help with this process, perhaps you take a couple deep breaths and drop in. Going one at a time, see if you can recall memories from that season– what was it like to be you? What feelings are here? What sensations are present? What colors are swirling? Perhaps you play some music from that era to help you remember, and then start coloring that doll. Repeat again and again for the other four dolls/versions of you.
Are all five colored and decorated? Great!
Now, looking at these five nesting dolls, let’s uncover some more...
💡 LEARNINGS
What were some of the significant learnings for each of these dolls/versions of you? How did the learnings from the smallest doll pave the way for the second? And how did the learnings from the second, influence the third? Check in and notice this for each of them.
🤍 GRATITUDE
We tend to be hard on ourselves, especially past versions of ourselves. Sometimes we’ll say things like “why didn’t I know better?” or “I was so dumb to think that”. Let’s practice softening the criticism and extending gratitude. After all, hindsight is 20/20 and it’s important to remember that we did the best we could with the information and experience we had. Without this version of yourself, you wouldn’t be who you are now.
Going one at a time, complete the following sentence for each of the versions of you:
Thank you for ________________________.
✨ WISDOM
Did you know that these versions of ourselves are always with us? In that respect, we’re never really alone. These various versions of ourselves deserve to be seen and heard. They contribute to our intuition, our sense of self, our inner wisdom. Sometimes when a client is looking for clarity, I’ll ask them: Is there a chance “little you” or an earlier version of you has insight to provide? A lot of times they do. Earlier versions of ourselves can help us prioritize our values and support decision-making when life feels complicated. Perhaps this is a moment to check in on your wisdom.
Looking at your drawing, ask: Is there anything you want to share or that you want me to know now? Maybe you ask this of each of the dolls, or maybe just one or two are calling to you. There is no right or wrong.
Phew! Good work! 😅 Let’s take a deep breath (haaaaah) and check in on this experience.
What was it like to do this activity? What do you feel as you look at your five dolls now? Any learnings that surprised you? Did appreciation come easier for some dolls/versions of yourself than others? What do you make of the wisdom that surfaced?
It can be tempting to do an activity like this and then super quickly go about our day. Perhaps you take a couple moments to debrief with yourself and see what feels particularly meaningful or is sticking with you. A mindful moment can go a long way.
Whatever is here, may you meet it with curiosity, grace, and compassion. The many versions of you, including the present, deserve it.
With much warmth from my many dolls to yours,
Shannah 🤍
Nurtured Founder & Coach
P.S. If you’re looking for someone to witness these versions of you, or maybe even meet them with you, you can always reach out to me. Send your drawings my way! I’d love to hear from you.